Thursday, May 25, 2006
This song is best for me currently: Bad Day, or rather 'Bad Week' for me.
Simply too much things and problems to face within this week, so many of them such that if you name it, I've got it. Friends, work.... all sorts under the sun.
Just because of grouping for work, friendship problem arises and I just feel so outcast. I was put under much pressure, and this started since last Friday and it's still haunting. By hook or by crook, this freaking problem has to be solved by tomorrow.
WTF! WTF! Economics is really driving me crazy. I tried studying it. Tried the recent tutorials and ended up crying like a mad woman at home when my family was at Sentosa. I was having such a bad time that I thought I was suffering from depression. The outcome of suffering so much preparing for today's test: nightmare. The paper was such a killer. The tutor said on the first day that half of us will fail econs. When I finish the test, I seem to hear him saying this repeatedly in my head. The more f***ed up I became.
That wasn't the end.
I had the urge to finish up my IT homework for the first time ever since the start of the term. Seems like I wasn't 'fated' to do so. My stupid com just wouldn't want to learn how to read a thumbdrive, so I had to use the library which closes at 8pm. Logged in at 6.30pm and tried really hard to recall how to use the functions of micosoft excel. Me being an IT-idiot took a pretty long time to find out how to do the work. Then a notice came out saying that the com system will be forced to shut down and warned users to save their documents at 6.54pm. Great. I've not done anything except trying to find out the function. 6.58pm, another notice popped out reminding that the system will shut anytime. I just plucked my f***ing thumbdrive out of the port and packed my stuff. Nothing's accomplished, will have to go to class without any homework done tomorrow. F*** it man.
I was so angry with myself for being such an idiot. Decided to take the bus home today. Wrong move. Traffic jam everywhere. And the time seemed to have stopped. I could have just yelled at anyone who gets in my way.(luckily no one did) I thought once I readched my destination, It'll be all over. WRONG!
I was crossing the last zebra crossing before I reached my house. The car did stop to allow pedestrians to cross and I was about to step onto the desgnated side of the the pavement before I saw a motorbike zipping through between the side of the car and the pavement. It came to a halt in time and about 25cm away from me. It could have just knocked me down and ended all my worries. I stared at the uncle riding the bike nevertheless, and walked off.
I really hate this. And I don't know what to do. I doubt anything's going to brighten my life. Great Singapore Sales ? Maybe it could only help a teeny weeny bit.
WTF.
Bang the wall. Just end it. F***.
Simply too much things and problems to face within this week, so many of them such that if you name it, I've got it. Friends, work.... all sorts under the sun.
Just because of grouping for work, friendship problem arises and I just feel so outcast. I was put under much pressure, and this started since last Friday and it's still haunting. By hook or by crook, this freaking problem has to be solved by tomorrow.
WTF! WTF! Economics is really driving me crazy. I tried studying it. Tried the recent tutorials and ended up crying like a mad woman at home when my family was at Sentosa. I was having such a bad time that I thought I was suffering from depression. The outcome of suffering so much preparing for today's test: nightmare. The paper was such a killer. The tutor said on the first day that half of us will fail econs. When I finish the test, I seem to hear him saying this repeatedly in my head. The more f***ed up I became.
That wasn't the end.
I had the urge to finish up my IT homework for the first time ever since the start of the term. Seems like I wasn't 'fated' to do so. My stupid com just wouldn't want to learn how to read a thumbdrive, so I had to use the library which closes at 8pm. Logged in at 6.30pm and tried really hard to recall how to use the functions of micosoft excel. Me being an IT-idiot took a pretty long time to find out how to do the work. Then a notice came out saying that the com system will be forced to shut down and warned users to save their documents at 6.54pm. Great. I've not done anything except trying to find out the function. 6.58pm, another notice popped out reminding that the system will shut anytime. I just plucked my f***ing thumbdrive out of the port and packed my stuff. Nothing's accomplished, will have to go to class without any homework done tomorrow. F*** it man.
I was so angry with myself for being such an idiot. Decided to take the bus home today. Wrong move. Traffic jam everywhere. And the time seemed to have stopped. I could have just yelled at anyone who gets in my way.(luckily no one did) I thought once I readched my destination, It'll be all over. WRONG!
I was crossing the last zebra crossing before I reached my house. The car did stop to allow pedestrians to cross and I was about to step onto the desgnated side of the the pavement before I saw a motorbike zipping through between the side of the car and the pavement. It came to a halt in time and about 25cm away from me. It could have just knocked me down and ended all my worries. I stared at the uncle riding the bike nevertheless, and walked off.
I really hate this. And I don't know what to do. I doubt anything's going to brighten my life. Great Singapore Sales ? Maybe it could only help a teeny weeny bit.
WTF.
Bang the wall. Just end it. F***.
handwritten, 5/25/2006 11:44:00 PM.
